oh, snap

a band snaps me back

in an instant, a flimsy circle

over thin skin to hold me 

in place, from distraction

gone but persistent, here 

surrounded by reminders, 

there's nowhere else to go

but backwards, pulled in,

a foot propped on a table,

a song taped to the line

(SNAP) the world comes

back into focus, a duller

version of a daydream that's

already seeping back in, an

eyelash blown into the wind

(SNAP) someone is playing

Piano Man in spanish, I sing

along in english, it's sad & it's

sweet & I knew it complete,

a way to shield the hated heat

(SNAP) move faster, focus & 

when he comes round with the 

clipboard again, take the time,

this place only amplifies what's

lovely & fleeting by being neither

self pep talk

ignore where the mind goes

when tired and alone. this is a

nightmare field of nowhere,

existing only to rehearse for a

contingency, a risk assessment, 

an emergency exit from fear.

don't pretend to care or not,

the soul dismantles with every

lie, the spirit clouds each time

we change our masks to face

another's disguise. there is love

that can't be found in fictions. 

never doubt there's room for you,

your authenticity, your voice, to live. 

no place but everywhere, a space

homemade within the skin, a hidden

world where you are always allowed,

fully accepted, & loved unrestricted.

mistakes aren't defining & flaws are

beauty in the eyes of the worthy. 

tattoos are only decorative scars, 

same as all physical imperfections, 

mental differences, past experience, 

it's all just the ornamental ink of life.

telephone

we're all reduced to 

smaller than 

I AM.

an idea,

a role, 

a type, 

a function.

a means but

not an end. 

all our words 

matter less.

there are no

soul confrontations,

only others to

bounce our own

sounds back.

return, confirm,

congratulate. 

it's the essence 

of a game of

telephone

to distort 

every word.

interpret, reshape

into a thing that fits

what is expected, 

what is wanted. 

on both ends 

of the call.

flowers

my flowers are dead

crushed and rotting in a jar

just taking up space

I knew I'd kill them,

picked them months ago with no

water yet to give

petal by petal

each wilt under the knowledge

that I'm their owner

the dry spray of breath

betrays my expectations 

brittle and fallen

colors have faded

to an old & pale blood stain

marked with rejection

they know sometimes I

wish I'd never picked them, but

they're too parched to cry

oh, when will I learn

flowers only thrive when I

leave them in the earth

Lok Gweltz

the shuffle between keys,

birds, the echo of room

stir memories of oceans 

never seen, cool salt air 

never breathed, a rocky

French coast of delicious

gloom only visited for the 

length of a song, a dance

for lonely notes uniting

under his fingers

blood in the cut

the silence resonates 

louder lately,

paces through my body, 

bouncing limb 

to limb, into my very

nervous system, 

echoing the sound of

indefinite absence

it's a disquieting quiet

felt as starvation,

amplified by the effects of

memories, pills, time,

a resounding nothing

pounding rhythmic

while I hunger for

noise

back & forth

numbness follows from 

these contradictory states 

I occupy

overflowing,

indifference 

contentment,

resentment 

as if extreme emotions

could cancel each other 

completely

leave a blank 

space that grumbles

hungry

there's nothing to 

feed it that won't 

breed its opposite

neutralize

empty again

tonight

I'm filling this void

with velveeta

red

I'm an island of bone in a sea of 

blood slipping up my white shores,

washed with the stain of ruin, 

dragging the unwary under the 

heady iron waves of my blessed curse,

luring, conquering, sucking words 

of poets, songs of man into my 

inferno lungs & exhaling the smoke of 

this burning world into the 

faces of their ghosts