Tuesday, February 7, 2023

firsts

my first hard liquor coincided 
with my first train trip, though
it all happened during the night,
as good adventures tend to do 

the windows of an empty
observation car mirrored only us,
me: scribbling in a backpocket journal,
her: drawing my anime portait 

a full year countdown to my
unexpected motherhood, but
what I seem to recall most vividly
were my sweet jeans with the 
reinforced knees

happy hour

"nothing matters,"
~feels nicer than~
"everything matters
& I've fucked it all up."

I lie there listening,
realizing I've mistaken
crumbs for banquets
all my life, swapping the 
causes & effects

nothing matters
is the the best 
scenario

new every day

each morning
I piece together this
collage of a human

pasting myself together
with songs, poems, films,
favorite food, drink,
interpretive dance

different highs

today, it's Yann's 
accordion, violin &
staccato toy pianos
as edge pieces with
bloody mary filler 

but tomorrow

tomorrow I may wake
into new skin &
Sam's Good Times
may be what soothes
my soul & if I'm pain free
I'll have a Cherry Coke