I wake up
check the death toll
again
before the covers come off
before my glasses go on
numbers that numb me
but the birds are all singing
the sun is shining
in this weird little pocket of normal.
This is not happening.
I wake my daughter
not for school
(which is out for summer vacation
before spring break even arrived),
but to keep me company
since my job closed a week ago
for I don't know how long
and now I'm left with so much time.
I force myself not to look at the news.
I do all the chores
that I never had time for
realize this is what it's like
to be a stay at home mom,
and I think I might like it
under other circumstances.
laundry
dishes
make lunch
shut the bedroom door
sit in silence and cry
I go for a walk through town
fresh air
exercise
no one within six feet of me.
I see everyone out in their yards
kids playing, lawns being mowed
people trying their hardest to keep moving
when everything else is grinding to a halt.
Cheery smiles but tired eyes.
I wave and ask, "How're you?"
Everyone says,
"Doing good...considering."