I drink
Because it's easier to
Drown uncomfortable emotions
Than actually feel them.
Not sadness.
I've made a weird peace with melancholy.
But rage, irritation, dread,
The feeling that I don't belong anywhere
With anyone,
And right now
I haven't had a drink in a week
And instead of feeling proud of myself
I am a stew of discomfort and anger
And tears and trying to blink back tears
Because tears are uncomfortable
For everyone.
God I want a drink.