gray and dirty and cold.
these people, man,
they all focus on THINGS
on buying on consuming
telling the same fucking jokes
over and fucking over
and I can't extract any Real
from anywhere.
I'm screaming, I'm fucking howling
no contact, no nothing
I will never get what I need
stuck in this same rut,
I NEED SOME FUCKING MEANING
is that too much?
it can't be that elusive,
have i just dug too far down?
I'll never be content in the shallow end.
goddammit.
why do I even bother anymore.
my heart/soul/whatever is alone.
i can't relate anymore.