obvious

the stupidity around me sometimes
is frustrating and suffocating.
they've all got their heads in the sand
and they're happy down there
hating with a smile and
loving conditionally.
thinking with an ancient
badly written book.
you can spot someone high on god
as easy as spotting a meth addict.
brainless and fucking scary.
reality, people.
is it that hard to see?
it's pretty fucking obvious to me.

things that keep me up

i
am
addicted

to detailed
daydreams.

and alternate
realities.

and long term
obsessions.

and easy
energy

and
angry birds.

the end.

uuuuunngh fuck it

i've got a veil dropping over me again
it's blocking out sunshine
i'm partially removed from my conversations
giving up under the weight
drink one thing to wake me up in the morning
drink something else to blot me out at night
day in day out day in day out
pointless pointless POINTLESS.

me. episode 2.

sometimes i keep myself awake
thinking
what the fuck was ever wrong with me?
i mean,
was that it?
was/am i that...i don't know
silly or stupid or irritating or obnoxious or or or
?
you know what?
none of it makes a fucking difference now
what others' skewed perceptions of me were.
i've had a little too much wine
and a little too much me-thoughts
to be writing shit
that the entire world has access to
anyway.

me

i'm all grown up, you see
though i don't believe to the core
i've changed at all.
i can look back at my reflection
and appreciate that.
i don't waver in my weirdness.
i will live to be a weird old lady
(i hope).
i'll always have the imagination
that keeps me up until 2am daydreaming
of should-have's and what-if's.
i'll always look at myself
10 years prior
and cringe at my naiveté
and proceed to write
narcissistic poetry.