mailing it

he's sleeping
finally, and i grab
the half size envelope
and keys,
open the rarely used
front door,
emerging through
a curtain of moths.
it's unnecessary,
the letter,
although the postage
is hardly wasted.
sometimes letters
just need to be mailed
if only for that purpose.
my cigarette won't light
until i'm there at the
mailbox cluster
there at the end of the street,
it's hardly smoked
by the time i disappear
back through the moths
at the door, home.
it was nothing i couldn't have said,
you know,
in person.
but sometimes words
are sweeter that way.

things i've learned

ferrets are illegal
in 2 states.

leaving contact lenses in
for, say...
3 months at a time
can cause scarring
of the eyeball.

expect nothing
from anyone.
no one likes to
live up to another's
expectations.

cutting an earthworm
in half
will not make two worms.
it just makes a shorter worm.

do not go on and on
about your personal life
to complete strangers.
your life is only
that interesting
to YOU.
unless they ask,
they don't care.

sometimes
you have to be
an asshole
to get your point across.
especially with the phone company.

no matter who says otherwise,
lighting a match
WILL
get rid of that smell.

never lie.
it will catch up to you
at the most
inopportune time
and you will be worse off
than you would've been
had you just
told the truth
in the first place.

do
not
put a bra
in the dryer.
it warps.