One moment
I am the bright and shiny
center of the fucking universe
radiating pure badassery
from my very soul.
The next
I am a whimpering nothing
a drag on everyone around me
a pathetic and stupid creature
wondering how anyone could stand
to speak to me, to look at me.
convinced they all take pity
on an obviously lesser human being.
At times I believe
that I am close to others.
friends, family
I am loved and understood,
feel that everyone is somehow
connected to one another
and that I am one
with them all.
At times I am the only human alive
watching puppets around me go through motions
it's all so alien
I don't know if anyone is really having thoughts
or if that's only me, projecting
like a child playing pretend with her dolls.