I'm the butt of their jokes
I tell myself
As I lie on my back
In bed
Tears rolling into my ears.
Every one of my words
I analyze
Turn over and over and over,
Understanding my
Obvious idiocy
Too late.
My mind
My thoughts and my
Inside world
These things never convey properly
And I'm terrified to even
Open my mouth sometimes
For fear of showing my
Wrongness.