not even a puzzle, since i don't think, if solved, i would even
form a coherent picture.
i feel things that aren't real
but what is real
anyway?
i drink and i
miss smoking and i
swear to myself i will
make things happen.
my life has become
a plan
not
a life.
what good would my fucking plan be
if i died next week?
fuck.
it's all work and school and kids
bills and work and potty training
grocery shopping and routine routine routine
what happened to me??
i can't tell whether i'm waking up
or just drunk and selfish
but something
needs
to
change.