Tuesday, August 30, 2011

community college history class (week 2)

i'm relearning it all, and for the first time i'm listening. the beginnings of time recorded by fossils and caves, geographic locations of ancient civilizations, now the modern day blah blah. shit, i never knew where that was in the first place. my eyes are (finally) open. the world felt so big until i studied a map. now i feel like i could be on jeopardy.

maryland memory

sitting around, drinking whatever, listening to joni mitchell blue, stuck in my past. it's lonely now that i'm the only one there in the dark, college music radio, watching the red power light on a hard floor waiting for my time to go. breathing breathing hush. am i the only one here holding my breath?

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

plug it up

it's been inflating since i was born, i fear the pigs blood like anyone else, hate to reach, obtain, only to be splattered with shame. catch it before it explodes, catch it before the leeches reach me from below. what mask could i find close enough to the face i lost, a face that was probably only another mask anyway. i'll show it to no one and pretend that they're all impressed, show it to everyone and they'll still look away. it's the same, it's all the same, i say i'll become satisfied with the now, the void, the empty. fill it with fantasy, words, and liquor. plug it up so the blood won't spill. conform to the lobotomized norm. be comfortable, the end will be the same. i'd rather walk on glass, show up at the end bloody and screaming and alive till my last than arrive in a bubble, bloated, vacant, and numb.